Saturday, July 24, 2010

Long time no post...

So, I haven't posted in over a month. I know, I know. Bad Bandit! But... I just haven't been feeling much like a Bandit. Or much like I even HAVE a stupid band. But, my good friend Kerri over at Just Me and My Band encouraged me to blog it out. So... Here it goes.

I am a failure. A big ol' whopping FAT failure. And I'm pissed about it. I was banded May 5. I IMMEDIATELY lost 15 pounds the week afterwards which was TREMENDOUS and I was so pleased. As I mentioned, I was banded in Mexico and there were hoops I had to jump through here to get fills. I called... I scheduled... I was told I had to attend a seminar first. Greeaaaaat. The entire seminar was people who had NOT been banded but were, instead, trying to decide if they wanted a band, a sleeve, or RnY. Grrr. And, of course, there was some bad mouthing of the fools who go south of the border to be banded. Whatev. Fine. Can I have my fill? Sure! We can schedule you for....

July 26. Eek. What? SERIOUSLY? FINE! I'll take it.

So, I get my first fill on Monday. And I'm ready. So ready. I keep singing, "Why do you FILL ME UP? Buttercup..." like a maniac. I've had such a hard time posting because I feel like such a loser. And not a "weight loss loser". We're talking a "I've gained back 10 of my 15 pound loss kinda loser.

Have I followed my band instructions SUPER carefully? No. I must admit I have not. I've been so disheartened. And I figured if I posted that I was slacking out of sheer depression I would get a bunch of comments like, "Well... You have to work too!" "The band doesn't do EVERYTHING" and so forth and so on. And that would make me crazy because I KNOW it's just a tool. But, it's a tool that is sitting there USELESS at the moment and dang it... if I had will power I wouldn't have been fat in the first place, now would I?

Monday can't get here quick enough is all I'm sayin'.


  1. You are being too hard on yourself. You struggled with your weight before you were banded like the rest of us. Food is our crack. We can't be expected to beat the addiction without help. That is why we needed the band to give us the help and support we need to beat this... It will never be easy, everyday I get thru without driving into a bag of Oreos is a good day. You will get your fill and that 10 pounds will come right back off, and you'll be glad that you didn't gain back more. We are never going to be able to eat without worrying about weight gain... We just have to remember that we will be able to lose it again, if need be. Kerry is right, blogging this out is the best thing you could do. Because chances are there are others reading this blog post who have struggled and gained weight back, now they know they're not alone. And We are strong together... We have all the support we need, right here in this blog community. You know what you need to know... That the band is a tool, and that you need to work with the band to succeed. You are working with the band everyday but until the band gets a fill... the band is going to let you down. You will get your fill tomorrow, monday and Rock the Band instead of the Band Rocking you! No Problem! You got this... *Maria*-Blogger from "This one time at Band Camp..." Check out my blog at

  2. I know how you feel, I have had a couple of fills but find it really hard to get there so have to wait along time.
    Really, your band isn't turned on yet, its not surprising that you're struggling.

    Good luck for your fill!

  3. This is why they call the period between surgery and your first fill Bandster Hell! Granted, most of us have had 4-8 weeks between surgery and first fill so you are a few weeks behind. I was banded in Mexico also and I know the frustration of finding a local doc to take care of my after-care. It was hard but I wanted to make sure I had it all set up before my surgery.

    I would make sure you make an appt for fill #2 when you go for fill # 1. You will lose that weight again, don't worry. Focus on the rules and make sure to get those fills. Most important, don't stay away from blogging, it really is a lifesaver! You'll get back on track and be fine!

  4. Never feel like a failure. We have all been there (Bandster Hell). I agree with Jacquie, make sure to schedule your next fill on Monday so you have it ready to go!

    Don't be a stranger! We are here to support you!