Saturday, July 24, 2010

Long time no post...

So, I haven't posted in over a month. I know, I know. Bad Bandit! But... I just haven't been feeling much like a Bandit. Or much like I even HAVE a stupid band. But, my good friend Kerri over at Just Me and My Band encouraged me to blog it out. So... Here it goes.

I am a failure. A big ol' whopping FAT failure. And I'm pissed about it. I was banded May 5. I IMMEDIATELY lost 15 pounds the week afterwards which was TREMENDOUS and I was so pleased. As I mentioned, I was banded in Mexico and there were hoops I had to jump through here to get fills. I called... I scheduled... I was told I had to attend a seminar first. Greeaaaaat. The entire seminar was people who had NOT been banded but were, instead, trying to decide if they wanted a band, a sleeve, or RnY. Grrr. And, of course, there was some bad mouthing of the fools who go south of the border to be banded. Whatev. Fine. Can I have my fill? Sure! We can schedule you for....

July 26. Eek. What? SERIOUSLY? FINE! I'll take it.

So, I get my first fill on Monday. And I'm ready. So ready. I keep singing, "Why do you FILL ME UP? Buttercup..." like a maniac. I've had such a hard time posting because I feel like such a loser. And not a "weight loss loser". We're talking a "I've gained back 10 of my 15 pound loss kinda loser.

Have I followed my band instructions SUPER carefully? No. I must admit I have not. I've been so disheartened. And I figured if I posted that I was slacking out of sheer depression I would get a bunch of comments like, "Well... You have to work too!" "The band doesn't do EVERYTHING" and so forth and so on. And that would make me crazy because I KNOW it's just a tool. But, it's a tool that is sitting there USELESS at the moment and dang it... if I had will power I wouldn't have been fat in the first place, now would I?

Monday can't get here quick enough is all I'm sayin'.