Didja miss me?

Hello dolls!

I know I haven't updated in practically a year, but being banded has been SUCKY and I just didn't have it in me to come and admit defeat. No, my port didn't flip, my band didn't slip, I didn't erode, didn't have any complications... I just wasn't losing and was having fill issues and was... Well... In a word... DEPRESSED.

See... our insurance didn't cover ANY form of bariatric surgery. So, I used $6000 of my family's hard earned money to go to MEXICO-- more than that really when you think of airfare, passports, food for my family, etc... And I was losing, but it was SLOW SLOW SLOW and it just irked the snot out of me. Plus, having a "foreign" band, the surgical center I was using for fills was overcharging me out the wazoo and filling me sooooooooooooo slowly. I got a quarter of a cc at a time. And could ONLY come in once per 6 weeks.

But... Miracle of miracles... I have hit a sweet spot and finally feel my band. Now, granted... I'm only at 2.5cc filled, but it works well for me. So... Whatever. Good. I'm glad I actually feel that having surgery was worth it.

If you remember I was banded last year on May 11 in Monterey Mexcio by Dr. Zapata. I have nothing but praise for his team and him. The surgery went smoothly... I was VERY well taken care of... The banding process was as good as surgery can get, IMO. It was aftercare that gave me headaches.

I started at 260 pounds-- 250 the day before surgery. And this morning I weighed in at 216 pounds. 44 pounds down. Many have lost much, much more. And I admit I'm jealous. But... That's 44 pounds that wouldn't be gone without my band. So... Success!

I'll try to update a bit more now. I've certainly had some struggles with the banded life-- they're ongoing to an extent. But... Maybe people can learn from my journey. Or at least not feel alone. :) But, for now, I'm gonna go celebrate the 44 lost pounds (which incidentally is more than my 4 year old weighs-- and lemme tell ya... 44 pounds to carry constantly is quite a lot!!!).

I have restriction!

*does a little booty dance*

Seriously? I have restriction at 1cc? I have friends who have 7 times as much in their bands that are still not feeling it as much... Maybe it's all in my head, but... Ya know what? I'll take it. I've lost 3 pounds since my fill Friday!

Now, the bad part is... I've had more than my fair share of stuck and PB episodes. Eating too fast, making wrong choices... It's come back to bite me in the butt. Which is fine. It's why I GOT the band! Did you know that steamed broccoli was a no-no? It is for me at least. I got to scuttle through a restaurant so I could yak it up in the bathroom. And obviously, macaroni and cheese is a no-no. And this morning, I forgot and took a bite of my daughter's french toast stick and that's a no-no, too. So, I now christen my band "No-No". I know some of you have named your band far cuter things, but I have a toddler and an 11 month old and "No-No" just seems appropo.

I'm really having to think a lot more about what I eat these days. We just got a new stove yesterday (our old one decided it didn't need to work anymore). Well, our new stove was delivered last night, which means I had no way to cook yesterday. So, the kids and I had lunch out. And I really had to THINK about what I could eat comfortably. We ended up at Chick-Fil-A as it's well over 100 degrees here and they have an indoor playplace where my little diva can play. I had a grilled chicken salad. Being the lovely Bandit I am, I ate the chicken first and then a bit of my salad. And I was content. Now, did I eyeball Ainsley's french fries? Yup. Did I eat 'em? Nope. I also have to confess I missed my usual chicken sandwich but I am NOT foolish enough to think bread is gonna go down.

I need to pick up some more protein shakes. I have virtually NOTHING in the house for breakfast. I mean, I do have stuff... But nothing No-No will let me have. So, might as well be nothing, huh?

My hubby has an MRI this morning of his thyroid-- the doctor felt a lump when he went in for his appointment on Monday. If you're the praying type, please lift him up. I'm certain it's nothing, but... Just in case... Prayers are ALWAYS welcomed!

Ciao, my lovelies!

Fill 'er up!

Ok, so... I didn't get to get my fill on Monday-- my family managed to come down with a killer stomach bug over the weekend and I was advised that from being ill, being filled would not be the wisest thing for me to do. So, instead, I was filled on Friday! Yay! The downside? 1 cc. LOL Whatever, it's something, right?

I had 2 days of liquids, now 2 days of mushies... But, I have to admit, I think I might already feel a slight restriction. I still have head hunger issues, of course, but... I really think I FEEL something now instead of trying to rely on just my willpower-- face it... If I had much'a that I wouldn't have weighed 250 at the start of this, now would I?

Long time no post...

So, I haven't posted in over a month. I know, I know. Bad Bandit! But... I just haven't been feeling much like a Bandit. Or much like I even HAVE a stupid band. But, my good friend Kerri over at Just Me and My Band encouraged me to blog it out. So... Here it goes.

I am a failure. A big ol' whopping FAT failure. And I'm pissed about it. I was banded May 5. I IMMEDIATELY lost 15 pounds the week afterwards which was TREMENDOUS and I was so pleased. As I mentioned, I was banded in Mexico and there were hoops I had to jump through here to get fills. I called... I scheduled... I was told I had to attend a seminar first. Greeaaaaat. The entire seminar was people who had NOT been banded but were, instead, trying to decide if they wanted a band, a sleeve, or RnY. Grrr. And, of course, there was some bad mouthing of the fools who go south of the border to be banded. Whatev. Fine. Can I have my fill? Sure! We can schedule you for....

July 26. Eek. What? SERIOUSLY? FINE! I'll take it.

So, I get my first fill on Monday. And I'm ready. So ready. I keep singing, "Why do you FILL ME UP? Buttercup..." like a maniac. I've had such a hard time posting because I feel like such a loser. And not a "weight loss loser". We're talking a "I've gained back 10 of my 15 pound loss kinda loser.

Have I followed my band instructions SUPER carefully? No. I must admit I have not. I've been so disheartened. And I figured if I posted that I was slacking out of sheer depression I would get a bunch of comments like, "Well... You have to work too!" "The band doesn't do EVERYTHING" and so forth and so on. And that would make me crazy because I KNOW it's just a tool. But, it's a tool that is sitting there USELESS at the moment and dang it... if I had will power I wouldn't have been fat in the first place, now would I?

Monday can't get here quick enough is all I'm sayin'.

Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Wow. So, OK... I admit, my band hasn't really done much in the way of restriction for me and I've been sloppy with my eating since I knew it wasn't stopping me. I've had 3 actually stuck/PBing episodes. One was on broccoli rice and it was seriously mild. Like, I just kinda went "bleh!" and spat it out. The next was on a TINY bite of a grilled hamburger patty (something about it just got lodged). It was about 3 weeks after the rice incident and was a bit more severe, but I've also had hamburger since then and it went down fine. Tonight, I had the MOTHER of all STUCKs.

My daughter is spending the night with her grandmama so she could get more playtime in with her cousin, so my hubby, the baby, and I decided to eat out. Aaron wanted chinese, so I said it was fine. We went and I got a tiny bit of fried rice and singapore noodles as well as chicken with broccoli and an egg roll. I knew the chicken dish would go down OK and I was planning on gutting the egg roll for the cabbage. But, silly me.. I just HAD to try a bite of rice. It went down OK. Not great as I felt it going down, but it didn't stick either. So, I had a bitty bite of noodles. Again, I felt them going down, but they didn't stick, so I didn't think much of it.

Took a bite of broccoli and relaxed and... OMG! I all of a sudden thought I was gonna DIE it hurt so much! My hubby looked at me kinda strange and I said, "I am SO stuck." He simply replied, "Go to the bathroom." Well, thanks, Captain Obvious. I didn't really want to yak as I was walking to the restroom, so he handed me the empty bowl he'd picked up to put his shrimp heads and crab claw leftovers in (another topic altogether, but EWWWWWWWW). I snatched it and hoofed it to the potty, PBing as discreetly as I could into the little bowl.

When I got to the bathroom, I really let loose and it was nasty, lemme tell you. I don't know how 2 SMALL bites of food turned into such a yarp-fest, but it did and it was uncool. I came back to the table and watched hubby eat. I ate a couple of pieces of chicken and a bite or 2 of broccoli, but I must say, I wasn't exactly craving Chinese by that point.

Aren't our bands weird? I have eaten sandwiches, part of a bagel, a doughnut... All sorts of things that should have stopped my stoma up GREAT and they didn't. Then, I eat a VERY careful 2 bites of questionable food and have to PB? Really? What made tonight different? Has anyone experienced a very temperamental band that works when it wants to and then doesn't at other times? I'm curious if this is normal or if I should assume something's not right.

Until next time, mi amigos, Voya con Dios!

Fathers' Day Weekend

OK, so... I'm biased and all, but my kids SO have the best Daddy in the world. LOL In fact, as I type this, he's cleaning the kitchen. Which I probably should be doing as it's Fathers' Day, but... He's just doing SUCH a good job! Both kids are even relatively quiet in there with him. Well, my 3 year old is whining, but... That's kinda just what they do at that age, isn't it?

Sorry I haven't given out enough thanks to all of my new followers and commenters-- nor have I had much time to cruise y'all's blogs and leave comments myself. My in-laws were in town for Fathers' Day weekend and we've been pretty darn busy! My hubby has decided he loves my band because he gets at least half of my entree. At Wintzel's Oyster House, he got over half of my sirloin (this is after I split my entree with both kids, too!) and then at Bonefish Grill he got more than half of my Fontina Pork Chop. And I wasn't even giving him the evil eye when he snared a bite without my permission!

I feel so much more confident, really, now. Hearing from all of you that this is normal, that I can fight through BH (bandster hell) and that IT WILL WORK has changed my attitude SO very much. I just can't say thank you enough! I really feel hopeful and better prepared to endure the next month until my seminar and then however long I end up waiting after that for a fill appointment (it's like herding chickens, I tell you!). But... I CAN DO IT!

And y'all have all shown me that! Thanks again!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

My fill just got pushed back to the bloody middle of July. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A month-long extension of bandster hell? Seriously? What are these people, DeathEaters? Are they Voldemort's minions??

Somehow, I was not told that I have to attend a "foreign banding seminar" before my first fill. When I just called to confirm my TUESDAY APPOINTMENT I was told, "Oh... You haven't been to our seminar... Our next one is July 16th and we can't schedule until then."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Sheer torture, I tell you. I'm being punished. I'm having karmic retribution for my fairly common cases of road rage. I'm in purgatory to make up for insensitive comments to my crazy mother (she IS as nutty as a fruit bat, I assure you). I can't say "it's not fair" as I deserve worse, but... I NEED THAT FILL, DANG IT!

Well, since I have 18 days to sit here and twiddle my thumbs, apparently... I'm thinking I might try this. Anyone heard of it? The 5 Day Pouch Test

Gotta go feed my rugrats. I'll chatter with everyone later!